Annie, Keri, Natalie, Emily at Lake Powell
Today marks the nine year anniversary Annie's passing. The efforts I make to understand this marked moment of my life have expanded my consciousness and opened my heart. On this particular anniversary, I seem to have a deeper understanding of 'timelessness.'
My memory of the event of Annie's death is timeless. This morning, I allowed myself to relive it. I was in Cleveland, OH on the MP3.com tour bus, with Jason, Barlow and my band. My sister, Natalie, was the one who delivered the news of Annie's death to me. I can still feel that blast of shock and the ends of my nerves, suddenly ripped to sheer, raw exposure. The days and weeks following felt much like wandering helplessly underwater. The early years clouded in grief have folded into moments of change and perhaps even evolution. And now today I reflect on how Annie's death has shaped my life perhaps more than any single event...thereby it is timeless, and so is the love wrapped around it all.
My dear friend Wendy said it best in a card she sent me yesterday (she sends me a card each year on this date without fail), "...what happened to Annie turned the world over...what happened to Annie has formed you."
Sunrise at Haleakala July 19 2007
I spoke at length with my mother this morning, reflecting on our memories of Annie and July 19th's past. Two years ago, we watched the sunrise atop the volcano Haleakala...when the first glimpse of hot light appeared above the cloud line I felt the mysterious power of regeneration, and the universe outside this dimension called time.
I am grateful to all of you that have been part of this journey with me...for your love, support, and friendship. AWAKE Community is going to clean-up the canyon now in honor of Annie!